Monday, August 27, 2007


Each passing thought of disposing this blog always seems to be echoed by a revisitation of posts I scribed over the years. They stand as today as Normandies of my journy, marking precisely the wickedness of heart and the occasional life that was reflected by His grace.

O Lord did you stand by me helplessly in those dark hours? Did my voulentary sins compel fresh wounds to Your most Sacred Heart? Does the life of sin I lead today continue to anger You? Yet I know Lord, in the glory of your most Divine Mercy, You stood by me and prayed "Father forgive him for he knows not what he does.". But Lord I know exactly what I do now. I sin O Lord, not out of ignorance but out of the evil that dwells within me. Is it the devil that tempts me or is it that my own affection for sin has invited him to dwell in me? Do you still not anger my Lord and my God? That your child with perfect knowledge of things that offend You, still choose to fall in love with death? Lord my soul resonates the same words Peter spoke to you on the boat.

"Leave me Lord, for I am a sinful man."

Yet in Your Love for man, You stand faithfully waiting. Who am I Lord that You, the creator of what lies within, below and above earth, should care to wait on me? My past was not where You wished me to be. My present unworthy of your sight. My future tainted and darkened by my human will and rebellion against You. Strike me Lord, for I eat from the tree of knowledge. Adam's disobeidience, I relive each passing moment.

Did You Lord not banish men from Eden?

Did You Lord not punish the folley of those in Sodom?

Did You O my loving God, not punish those who worshipped a calf carved from gold?

If this world is in You and You in it, where then do I hide from your wrath? To whom do I run to avoid your punishment? You search me and You know me Lord, all my thoughts lie open to Your gaze. How mysterious, Your Love for men! For You have allowed me to live despite my offenses. You nourish my afflicted body with the healing breath of Your Spirit. You do not wish for me to die in sin but that I be converted and live. Who am I Lord that You, the alpha and omega, should choose to wash my feet!? O Lord wash not only my feet but also my head and hands!

I am void and has no form. Create in me light and darkness. Appoint the greater light to govern my day so that I may sing praises to you with my very being. Appoint the lesser light along with his little ones so that they may guide me back to Your holy presence. Remind me Lord that I am nothing without You! That Your Mother herself stands atop the lesser light and intercedes for my wretched soul. I worship you Lord Jesus! Grant me Lord Your Spirit! Spirt Lord hover over my devastated being and in Your mercy, create in me a love for You so that I may carry out your greatest commandments!

Forgive me Lord for my secret sins and channel unto me the most amazing grace that reconciled men to You. Let me share with You, O Eternal Priest, Your passion, victimhood and resurrection. Cover me Lord, with You Most Precious Blood, through which You have purchased my salvation. Heal me O Lord from the muteness of my sins, so that I may proclaim glory to you as Your servant Zacharias. Help me Lord to glorify you with my life! O Loving Father have mercy on me for the love of Your Son whose sacrficed has purchased my life! As Israel recommit to You time and time again, I recommit myself to You, most Holy Trinity.

I put faith in You Father, and Your plans for me.

I love You Lord Jesus, and thank you for the cross You beared

I submit to you O Holy Ghost, teach me Your ways!

All glory be to You! One God, Three persons!

St Monica, St Augstine, pray for us...

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